Mali?! ...I'm ENGAGED:

    For his final internship, David worked at a company called Athletes in Action. Athletes in Action is a nonprofit missions organization which utilizes sports to reach the world for Christ. Around January(ish), Athletes in Action started to plan a trip to Mali, Africa. Having been born and raised in Africa, David was undeniably the perfect asset to the team; however, David recently got accepted to be a mid-term missionary in Congo from September-May of 2009 with World Venture. Raising support for two trips to Africa seemed impossible and Congo definitely took precedence...but when a coworker at Athletes in Action offered to pay for Dave's way to Mali (most of it), he began to consider the opportunity seriously. Even though I knew I would miss him, I even told him he should go. After praying about it, he told me he was going to [that was lie #1...David actually declined the offer]. So...for FOUR months I've been praying about David's trip to Mali and he has been telling me all about the intricate details of the trip. Simultaneously, Dave was working on finding the perfect engagement ring (success there) and getting ready to ask my Dad for permission.
    On Friday, May 16, 2008 I woke up frustrated that Dave would shortly be leaving the country. I knew he was going to propose eventually; however, I "knew" that it wouldn't happen on this day because I would be TICKED if Dave asked and then left the United States entirely less than one hour later. So I "knew" the proposal wasn't going to come for another two weeks at least (when the Mali trip was over) and so I was mulling around the house wondering what I was going to do until then. Additionally, I "knew" the engagement wasn't going to happen today because Dave had come down with an awful cold (which actually turned out to be fake). Dave had packed my car with his luggage the day before and the plan was for me to pick him up from work at 4 and head straight to the airport in Portland. At 2:00(ish), I got a call from him saying his flight had been delayed two hours due to bad weather in New York. There actually was bad weather in New York and Dave gave me the numbers for a real flight just in case I got suspicious. In all actuality, the purpose of the "plane delay" was so that Dave could get us in Portland just in time for the sunset. But I didn't know that. I just got more mad because it meant that it would be even later at night when I had to drive home from Portland by myself. I HATE driving long distances by myself! -especially at night.
    The "plane delay" meant that we didn't have to leave Albion until around 5:30-6:00. We had to leave from Albion (as opposed to in town where he works) because Dave had conveniently forgotten his shaving kit at home which made me waste a trip to town and back. This didn't help my frustration. But...inside that shaving kit was a little "bling bling" so it was all part of the plan. For the drive, David benefited from my extremely poor sense of direction. I wasn't even the least bit suspicious when he told me we had reached our exit and we ended up on all these crazy back roads in the middle of nowhere. Though I did complain that there were NO signs for the airport anywhere and that I was going to get extremely lost on the way home...I wasn't suspicious. We got a little lost and I pulled into a pizza place so Dave could run in and get directions so that he would be "on time for his flight." We got back on the road and then...out of the blue...Dave tells me to turn right off the route we were supposed to stay on. I thought he was crazy...but he said he had a "gut feeling" and that we had to turn. "Typical guy," I thought....he had to be at the airport in 15 minutes, we "weren't lost", he knew "exactly where we were", and we were driving on a "gut feeling". All of those infamous quotes that stubborn guys use when they don't want to admit that they're lost...Dave used every one of them. Actually...he did know where we were, but I was skeptical (not suspicious).
    A little ways down the road Dave told me to pull into a park entrance lot. It was gated off, so we got out and he wanted to walk down the park a bit. He pulled out two sweatshirts from the trunk and, although I was a little confused as to why he needed two sweatshirts for Mali, I figured he just wanted to spend a little time together before taking off. Besides, two planes flew overhead (a COMPLETE coincidence) so Dave assured me we were close to the airport and he'd be fine. We walked down to the Portland Lighthouse, which is the most famous lighthouse in Maine (and in the US I think?). I didn't know it was the Portland Lighthouse because I had never been...but I STILL wasn't suspicious. We climbed up on the rocks by the lighthouse just as the sun started to set over the coastline and Dave said...."I have a secret". I figured he would playfully say "I love you" as soon as I replied "what"...but that idea went out the window when he continued by making me promise that I wouldn't get mad when he told me. And when I asked what the secret was his response was....
    "I'm not going to Mali". ....He then got down on one knee and said he loved me. He took out the most GORGEOUS ring ever...and he asked me to marry him. I was completely shocked...but I said "Yes". :) -of course. We sat there completely stunned as I tried to get over the shock that he wasn't leaving the country and the sun continued to set...then a ranger with a bullhorn announced that the park would be closing in 10 minutes. So we slowly got our stuff ready to head out. David prayed for our relationship and then we headed back to the car where I couldn't help but call almost every number in my phone. It actually got to the point where Dave had to tell me to stop calling people because he wanted to talk to me. ;) Well, Dave explained that there was one catch. He had a friend, Jason, who lives in the Portland area. Dave had promised Jason that he would swing by and show him the ring [lie #...I lost count]. I had no problem with this. In fact, I was pretty excited to show off this INCREDIBLY beautiful ring. :) So we got to Jason's house and Dave pauses and says, "Jason doesn't actually know we were getting engaged." Another surprise. Dave then told me that we couldn't follow through with our dinner plans (which I didn't know about) dressed in jeans...so Jason's house was merely a place to change. He pulled out his suit (which I thought was meant for the "banquet" he had to attend with his Mali team just before leaving the country) and behind it was his favorite dress that I own and my heels. So we got all dressed up. :) Dinner was at Olive Garden (we didn't eat until about 9:30-10:00). The entire time we ate, I kept my left hand glued to the side of my face so that the whole world could see my ring (I think our waitress was jealous). I was--and am--so happy.
    Since we didn't get home from Portland until about 12:30, we had to save our "celebrating with the family" for the day after. We pretty much went straight to bed (not together, to clarify). But I couldn't sleep all night 'caus I couldn't stop looking at my ring. It is a very traditional, white gold, solitaire ring. One 3/4 carat diamond sits up high on for prongs. And it shines like CRAZY!!!! I can't even stop looking at it. :) I'll post pictures soon...but believe me when I say it's the prettiest dang ring I've ever seen. :) And THAT is how WE got engaged!

-Nicole

God Answers Prayer:

     So, whoever is responsible for making me cry today [happy tears]...thank you...thank you...THANK YOU! It's been a week of ups and downs. I started out getting so encouraged by the fact that Dee was going to give me the Hive tips to help me get my car fixed and get home. I also got two anonymous envelopes of money in the mail which perked my spirits and helped me to believe that I'm gonna be ok. Then...I found out that Wachovia rejected my loan application. Since I am only taking one three credit class (a class I need to take this summer in order to graduate), I'm not considered a fulltime student for this summer. Wachovia will not distribute loans for part-time students...which I wasn't aware of until just the other day. So I register for this class April 15th and I still need $1,300 to do that. On top of telling me this, the financial aid office also rudely reminded me that I need $120 more in my student account by May 1st in order to reserve my spot for the fall semester. Needless to say, I got all discouraged once more because that just seems impossible alongside everything else I need. But...
     ...I got seven more anonymous, encouraging cards containing money today, and all I could do was cry when I added up the total. I have no idea who are or even if I know you personally or not, but if you're reading this right now...please know that I cannot express in words how much your actions meant to me. I hope that I can someday be at that point where I can help out someone else in need, because I now realize how encouraging it is. God answers prayer in such incredible and unexpected ways. It is such a blessing to know how much Cedarville students genuinely care...and to know that I'm going to be OK because I have a ton of people praying for me and supporting me through this stage in my life. I feel so blessed. So, thank you. And thank you even more for your prayers. God answers prayers...

-nicole

I Know What It's Like To Have Nothing:

     For those of you have yet to hear through the grapevine...I've been really struggling lately. Financially struggling. And I realize that 90% of the people who walk the sidewalks here at Cedarville University will claim that they are financially struggling as well; however, i'm really struggling. Allow me to explain complain:

• I've had a whoppin' $10.00 or so in my bank account for months now
• I owe my boyfriend $160.00...and he's been waiting for that for far too long
• My car is still having problems and I need to get it fixed before I can head home in May
• I have no money to get my car fixed [$200+...at least]
• I have no money to get home this summer [20 hours of driving + the price of gas...you do the math]
• I have no money for the summer class I need to take in order to graduate [$1300.00]
  ::loan applied for rejected!::
• I have no money for the Praxis test I need to take in August in order to get my degree [$100?]
• I need $120 more dollars to put into my student account before May 1 in order to reserve my spot for the fall semester.
• I have no secure job this summer
• I hardly have the money to pay my cell phone bill each month [thank goodness Ricky lets me pay him late]
• Dean Johnson regrettably informed me the other day that it is impossible to reimburse me the $1,000.00+ I wasted on phonics class. [the professor is 80 years old and doesn't feel like teaching...so he took the "liberty" of turning a three credit class into a one credit class since there isn't enough material to cover the time allotted anyways. But...we all still had to pay for those 2 extra useless credits at about $700 a piece]
• I have to switch up all my bank account information because of the security breech at Hannaford
• My Dad cannot afford to help me financially for the remainder of my time in college [which I'm not upset about since my Dad has helped me more than enough already...but it's still a struggle]
• I'm $60,000+ in debt already
• And i'm tired of seeing everyone around me who is getting everything handed to them by their parents on a silver platter

     Romans 8:28 affirms that there is a purpose for everything. God never gives us more than we can handle and the trials that we are forced to endure in this lifetime ultimately exist to bring us closer to God, should we desire for that to happen. I know this, I believe this, and I've been in these situations before. I have no doubt that I'm going to be OK in the end of all this and, in fact, I think I know what God is trying to teach me. I need to trust Him more, I need to love Him more, I need to want Him more, and I need to make sacrifices for Him a lot more. But...even though I can say these things and even though I want to apply them to my life more than anything, it's easier said than done. It's so hard "not knowing" where I'm going to get the money for all these things that I need in my life when I honestly have no money and no reliable income. I understand that money is a very materialistic substance...and it shouldn't "consume" us...however, you can't deny the fact that we do [unfortunately] need it to a certain extent. So I guess that's what's making this so hard for me. I know that from a Biblical standpoint I'm not supposed to "desire" money and I also know that there are some people who are worse off than myself...yet, I "need" it and because I don't know where the money I need will come from...I have a hard time trusting that it's coming at all. : ( Further, I think I'm struggling with the fact that God doesn't always answer prayers in the manner in which we expect. As a result of my present state of frustration...I believe that an answer to prayer would be miraculous, financial help. But...that's MY opinion of how God needs to answer my prayers and, when I really stop to think about it...I know deep down inside that God's way of doing things is far better than my own. His answer to my prayers may in fact not be in the form of money [or at least not an abundance of money this very second]...and I'm having a hard time accepting that. And that's pretty much all I have to say/ramble about. Please pray for me. And God...don't give up on me yet because I'm trying so hard to get to that point where you want me to be. Also, words of encouragement are welcome needed.

-nicole

::edit:: My boss at the Hive heard about my financial need. She's praying for me...she encouraged me...and she's going to donate the tips that we get for the rest of the semester in order to help me pay for my car and get home. The tip money will probably not exceed $50; however, I still broke out in tears at her willingness to help little ol' me. Every little bit counts. And...this is a bit of an answer to prayer...even if it's not a lot. ::end edit::

Currently Reading What's So Amazing About Grace? By Philip Yancey see related

This Time Next Year...

This will be my home:

yep, it's official. :)

-nicole

Currently Reading 14,000 Things to Be Happy About By Barbara Ann Kipfer see related

It's Been a While:

some things to be happy about...
 -the uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow
 -when the fourth wheel on a shopping cart refuses to cooperate with the other three
 -the preposterous rituals that people resort to to get rid of hiccups
 -birdies singing the same song over and over...

perhaps i'll write a personal post later. but for now, this post makes me smile.

-nicole